COMFORTS & MEMORIES

 WHAT BRINGS US CLOSER

When we loose someone, we often hold onto specific personal items that belonged to the one who passed away as it makes us feel their presence & brings us comfort. Sometimes we even hoard these objects because its all we have left of those we've lost, or because we want to pass things down to the next generation, or maybe because it's too emotionally painful to go through what's left. These objects hold great importance once someone passes. 

My mum used to go through boxes of photos, letters, jewellery & small objects with me when I was younger because she wanted to tell me stories of people in my family that I never got the chance to meet. This was a comfort to her, & interesting to me & it's something I would definitely do in the future with my children. When you're young & look at pictures you can create false memories purely from a picture & sometimes never find out if it was real or not. I used to do this a lot with my grandparents who I never got to meet just because I saw pictures of us together when I was younger.

Another thing some people tend to do after loosing someone close to them is they start finding comfort in superstitions. An elderly woman who was seriously ill decided she had to keep her bedroom window open at all times after her husband passed, as she didn't want to shut out his ghost. Ultimately, this was harmful to her as she was always laying in the cold bedroom whilst severely ill.

My mum believes that blackbirds symbolise that someone whose passed is watching over you. There's one that keeps coming into the garden & sitting on my grandads bench, & when she sees it she gives it food to encourage it back as it brings her comfort. She sees it as a message that her dads watching over her. Some may see it as silly, but does it really matter if it makes you happy?

Memories of people are also important & valuable as these bring comfort too. When someone passes it's almost like you can see the memories you have with them even more clearly & these memories can be triggered by what you see around you, or certain smells or textures. A key memory of my grandad is when we were little he used to go through his book of birds with me. There was one bird he would point out & laugh over whenever he saw it & it was the blue-footed booby. He found it funny when I said it & even more funny when we repeated it to grandma who was the most traditional grandparent I have. Grandad always wanted to wind up my grandma so he would get us to go & get biscuits out the cupboard for him when he was meant to diet, then he would pass them to us when grandma came back in. Personal memories like these mean nothing to someone who doesn't know the person, but to the people who do, these stay close to them forever.

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